What does Islam say about Visiting Graves? What are the appropriate manners for Visiting Graves in Islam?
Generally, visiting graves is mustahab (recommended) for men and permissible for women. Visiting the graves of saintly people, parents and close relatives is considered mandoob (desirable). It is permissible and possible for women to visit graves as long as they do not cry out, wail, behave hysterically and respect graves too much, which can cause mischief. This is because the Prophet advised a woman who was wailing at her child’s grave to endure; yet he did not forbid her to visit the grave. (Bukhari, Janaiz, 2, Ahkam II; Muslim, Janaiz, 15). In addition, it is narrated that Hazrat Aisha visited her brother’s, Abdurrahman b. Abi Bakr, grave. (Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 61).
The Prophet prohibited visiting graves during a period of time when belief in fate was not yet settled and traditions of the era of ignorance were still being practiced. However, later he permitted it. The following is stated in a hadith:
“I had prohibited visiting graves for you. From now on you can visit graves”. (Muslim, Janaiz, 106; Adahi, 37; Abu Dawud janaiz, 77; Ashriba, 7; Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 7; Nasai, Janaiz, 100; Ibn Majah, Janaiz, 47; Ahmad b. Hanbal, I, 147, 452, III, 38, 63, 237, 250, V, 35, 355, 357). Hadiths that state that the Prophet cursed on women who visited graves too often (Tirmidhi, Salat, 21; Janaiz, 61; Nasai, Janaiz, 104; Ibn Maja, Janaiz, 49) belong to the period of time when visiting graves were prohibited. Tirmidhi stated it clearly (Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 60). Hazrat Aisha and Ibn Abdilberr agreed on it.
According to the sound view of Hanafis, it is permissible for women to visit graves as long as they do not display extreme behaviors such as wailing and behaving hysterically. This is because the permission mentioned in hadiths applies to women too. (Tirmidhi, Janaiz, 60, 61; Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Mukhtar, Istanbul, 1984, II, 242).